Love doesn’t have to cost anything


Love doesn’t have to cost anything

Stan Faryna and I were chatting on the Facebook chatbox about ideas for blog posts. I suggested a blog post about things we could do for others with out using a lot of money. Money is tight for a lot of people these days. But that doesn’t mean the love has to stop. Stan said it was a great idea, but he asked me not to mention him in this blog post. He felt that me mentioning him in almost every blog post might be trying on all my other friends. “Oh hush,” I said!

The men and women that perform public service often go out of their way and take out of their own time to serve the public. Yes, there’s bad apples out there, but I personally know government workers that often go out of their way to do the job right. They usually don’t get much thanks for it either – as if going out of their way was in the job description. So here’s some ways you can give them love and thanks.

(1) The mailman (or woman) doesn’t get the same welcome and thank you that they used to get. During the winter, we used to give him or her, a cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate when they came by the house. In the summer time, we had a cold drink waiting for them – water or ice tea. Things are different now, but you can still be waiting for them with a hot drink in a styro-foam cup. Or a bottle of water.

(2) Likewise, the trash man doesn’t get a lot of appreciation. They come early in the morning. Around the holidays, you can tape a five dollar bill to the trash can with a note saying, Thank you and God Bless!

(3) If you have frequent business with government office workers, bring flowers and candy and remind them that you know it’s not government that’s doing it’s job, it’s them. It’s people – it’s them that solve your problems, answer your questions, and make it all work. The flowers and candy don’t have to be the most expensive – the intention counts.

(4) If you see a man and woman in U.S. military uniform, thank them for their service. Give them a handshake, hug, or say, God bless you. Do it with a smile and mean it. It will touch their heart.

The elderly remind us that we don’t live forever. They remind us we’re not always going to be as strong or fast as we used to be. In their humility, they share their humility with us. They also give us an opportunity to share our kindness and empathy with them.

(5) When you’re in line at the cashier of your grocery store and you find yourself behind an elderly person, offer to help them unload their cart or basket. Propose it to them with a kind smile. Be gentle, gracious, and patient whether or not they accept your help.

(6) You might also offer to help them load their groceries into their car – if the store does not have someone there to load cars. Make your offer of kindness in front of everyone so that the elderly person can be sure that your intentions are to help them – not to take advantage of them.

(7) Bring good books and interesting magazines to a senior care facility near you. Bring them that great science fiction novel or romance that you just told all your friends about. Don’t bring them a book you didn’t like and don’t bring them a magazine that is many years old. Like you, they are curious about what is happening in the world right now.

Our friends that we make online can be some of the best friends ever. We share our troubles and joys with them. My online friends encourage and support me each in their own way, but often with a lot more attention and commitment than my offline friends.

But I know that sometimes they need me and they are embarrassed to ask. And it’s not like I’m going to know what’s always happening to them because I’m not showing up unexpectedly at their front door when I haven’t heard from them in a few days.

(8) Try to remember you’re in a real relationship with a real person who needs to often hear things from you like Good Morning, Good Night, How are you?, I’m Praying for You, Happy Birthday, I miss you, I appreciate you, etc.

(9) On special occasions such as their birthday or even on Christmas, send your dearest online friends a small token of your friendship. Like a kitchen magnet from where you live. Or a postcard. It will help them know that they are not alone in the physical world. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It could be a small note saying, Thank you for being my friend!

(10) Share your story with your online friends. Let them know the authentic you. Recently, Stan made a podcast about how he feels different and alone at times because of the things that happened in his life. I felt that I came to a better understanding, deeper empathy, and thankfulness for him. Go and listen to it here. Though I have known him for four years, his recent podcasts have made him more dear, real, and inspiring to my heart.

There’s lot of things you can do without spending a dollar. You don’t need a million dollars to start doing good. You don’t even need a nickel. If you can smile, shake a hand, or hold someone. If you can say, Thank you, I love you, or I’m sorry. Or like Nisha Varghese says, if you can make them feel you see them, you hear them, and that they are real to you. Nisha is a wonderful young lady.

I have more things on my list. I’ll be sharing them with you later. But I think what I described here is going to get you thinking.

What things can you do to make sure that others feel the love? Please share them with us in the comments below.

Yours truly,

Bonnie Squires
@bonnie67

Would you like to read my other posts?

Laugh, Love, and Blogging #Triberr

Are you wonderful people?

Can love move as fast as technology?

@bonnie67 has love enough for the whole world

I recommend blog posts by my friends. That’s what friends do.

Here’s recent posts that I liked:

1. No Charge For Love by Richard Bejah

2. Launching #NicheAmnesty.TV: A Fun Way To Start Your Weekend by Stacey Herbert

3. Leadership When All Hell is Breaking Loose by Aaron Biebert

4. Alaska Chick Rule #24, Don’t Wait For The Rain To Stop by Amber Lee

5. Confessions of a Freak, Geek and Misfit by Stan Faryna

6. Mr. Rebates – Your New Best Friend! All Star Edition by Carolyn Nicander Mohr

7. Friday… Is a Wishing Well… Kinda Day… by Lisa Faeth

8. Billy the Exterminator is a Branding Genius by Erica Mallison

9. Are You Really Prepared? by Frank Jennings

10. What’s Your Ikigai? by Lori Gosselin

11. Lean On Me by Bill Dorman

12. Gaming, the Economy, and Riots by Gini Dietrich

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19 Responses to “Love doesn’t have to cost anything”

  1. rahkyt Says:

    These are all great things to do to show your appreciation for people. Thank you for sharing!

  2. fishyfacedesigns.wordpress.com Says:

    What a wonderful post, Bonnie! Thank you, so much for reminding us to do those little things that can mean so much to another..

    Take Care

    Lisa

    • bonnie67 Says:

      Hi Lisa

      It is great to see you here on my blog.
      I’m glad I met you on twitter and our
      friendship grows each day.

      I’m glad you took the time out to read this
      and thanks for stopping by.

  3. Aaron Biebert (@Biebert) Says:

    I think you should definitely mention Stan in ever post. He’s that great!

    Keep writing, this was a good read.

    Aaron

    • bonnie67 Says:

      Good morning Aaron.

      I’m glad you liked the idea of me putting Stan in
      my blog. He is great.

      Thank you for the encouragement it means allot

      bonnie

  4. Betsy Cross Says:

    Thanks Bonnie!,
    My little family enjoys me, but they do think it a bit strange that I talk to the mailman, the trash man, and all of the store clerks, as well as a lot of the older people in my dad’s nursing home. I don’t know if they understand the value of the small things that brighten someones day. It’s as if they feel like they’re intruding. They are always pulling me along to get somewhere else. And I look into eyes that are pleading for attention and say goodbye. Kills me every the time!
    Thanks for the reminders.
    Betsy

    • bonnie67 Says:

      Hello Betsy

      Nice of you to stop by. I do understand about
      the little ones and them wanting to go. Ever one
      in the store in town knows me by my first name
      and i’ll talk with them. Now the kids are a little
      older and see how happy it makes a person
      day just to say hello they do it now.

      The other day i ran into an older lady in the store
      and i’ve seen her 3 or 4 times and all ways helped
      her with her things. Well the 3 kids i had with me even
      help out and they wanted candy. I told them to keep it under a
      quarter well as the lady was finishing up she paid for the kids
      candy she wouldn’t take no for an answers. she was so happy
      and the kids was to.

  5. billdorman Says:

    Stan’s semi-famous as it is; he doesn’t need anymore publicity…:).

    And I certainly like the $5 idea on the garbage cans; I’m going to pass that idea around my neighborhood……and then go check their cans before they are picked up……….doh……….

    The ‘pay it forward’ approach, we should all try to practice it a little more. Treat people (and they are all just people) like you would want to be treated.

    It’s really not that hard to be nice and thankful.

    Thanks for linking my site (even though it was JackB’s post….:). Very much appreciated.

    • bonnie67 Says:

      Good morning Bill

      Welcome to my site. I read JackB’s post enjoyed it
      very much. Now I need to come and read your blogs
      which I’m sure I’ll enjoy very much.

      I agree about Stan is semi-famous and i believe he will
      be going big some day.

      To funny about checking the garbage cans just as long
      as you leave the money. I’m glad you liked the idea.

      Your very welcome for the link to your site.

  6. Gini Dietrich Says:

    How does Stan feel about your mentioning him here?? 🙂

    This is a really good reminder for all of us. And it’s not just for the service people or the elderly…we should be doing this for all people around us.

    I’m reminded of the time I gave the homeless guy, who sits outside by Starbucks every day, $5. The next morning I saw him smoking a joint. So I asked him, “Did the money I give you yesterday pay for this?” He gave me a great, big grin and said, “THANK YOU!”

    I no longer give him money; rather buy him a cup of coffee or a bagel. And he still gives me that great, big grin.

    • bonnie67 Says:

      Hello Gini

      It is nice to met you. I enjoyed reading some
      of your blog this morning.

      I’ve not spoken to Stan today so I don’t know how he feel
      about me mentioning him in the blog. Personally I think
      he wouldn’t mind. Stan and I go back a ways and he has
      been the best friend I could ever have.

      At least he was honest with you about the money and
      smoking a joint. You reminded me of when we lived in
      CA. We had a extra happy meal and we seen a homeless
      man pushing a shopping cart full of things. Our kids started
      asking questions about him and we explained to them he didn’t
      have a home he lived on the street. We took the extra meal out
      and gave it to him. He couldn’t thank us enough.

      Our children are much older now and have never for gotten that
      and if they can help some one they will. We have a police office
      who lives 2 doors down from us and when his wife was expecting
      the kids would go over and ask her if she needed any thing.

  7. Amber-Lee (@girlygrizzly) Says:

    Bonnie,
    Hi! This post is beautiful. So many people forget the things that mean the most.

    Fear, distrust, disgust are all ugly words and feelings that surround us everyday. If we do not shove those away, we are hurting ourselves as much as other people.

    So many people forget, the biggest gift that you can receive from another human is time. The time it takes you to smile at someone, as you walk by, to look them in their eyes and smile, is less than a moment. It could mean everything. It makes you feel good inside, to smile, when you smile, with your focus on that other person.

    Pay it Forward. It is a powerful and almost magical feeling. We are not alone. We may feel alone at times. It sure can be terribly lonely and painful inside yourself. But we are not. Someone is always watching. Someone is there. Maybe you didn’t change that person’s life by taking the time to smile and say good morning…. but maybe you changed the life of the man’s, who was watching you (because we all know this), elderly neighbor. That is how it works.

    Change someone’s life? (now, don’t go thinking that I’m on a ramble!) Yes! How do you know, that your smile, at that moment, when you looked into that person’s eyes, wouldn’t give that person pause to reflect ON THAT SMILE at the moment of despair…? You don’t. But doing good, and most of us were taught very early what “good” is, the “doing” good, fills you up as well.

    Stacey sent me over here, Bonnie, and I’ll take this beautiful post as my reminder for the day. To be a little more patient, take a little more time, smile into people’s eyes…about Stan… you are right, he is dear. Thank you for writing this down, Bonnie. God Bless you and yours and stay safe and happy while I am in the field, I’ll be back to see you!! ~Amber-Lee (p.s. Holy Cow!! You put me on your list! That makes me feel very honored. Not to mention like I might finally be catching on!)

    • bonnie67 Says:

      Good morning Amber Lee

      I enjoy reading your blogs but there times I just don’t comment
      sorry about that. You know how that goes having children.

      You can ramble all you want. So true people don’t realize how a
      smile can change there day.

      Here another tip if you have a Facebook account and a friend
      or some one you just added you has a birthday wish them a
      happy birthday. I know allot of people who I’ve made there day
      just by those 2 words.

      Children do learn fast to and pick up on what there parents
      do. I love seeing our children do some thing nice for some
      one else.

      You stay safe in the field Amber Lee.

      Yes I put you in my list and of course your catching on.
      Hugs Bonnie Squires

  8. Janet Callaway Says:

    Bonnie, aloha. What a terrific post. Your suggestions are excellent.

    Recently Marcus wrote a post on invisible giving. Bonnie, here is something that I do that is invisible giving and is so much fun.

    What I do is leave money in a rest room or some public place where it can be easily found. It doesn’t matter whether it is $1, $5, $10 or $20; it’s the thought that counts.

    When money comes to us in unexpected ways, we are delighted. So that people won’t feel “guilt” about the money & think someone lost it, I put a little note on it that says: “Here is a gift for you. It is yours to do with as you choose–keep it, spend it or share. May it brighten your day. Enjoy.”

    Sometimes I lurk in the area to watch the reaction and have always been delighted with what I see. Other times I just leave it and go on my merry way. It is so much to imagine the possibilities that can happen with that money.

    Before I typed my reply I went over and read Stan’s post. Bonnie, thank you so much for including it because otherwise I might have missed it. What a shame that would have been. It is simply magnificent.

    Again, thank you for putting this wonderful post together and reminding us all to show our appreciation to others. Bonnie, I appreciate your support and your cheerful tweets.

    Wishing you a week of wonderful happenings. Until next time, aloha. Janet

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